It’s the final countdown…
It’s the final countdown…. thirty is fast approaching and for those of you wondering if I figured out my awkwardness in the past month, I have not. So I have just a couple of days until I am officially Thirty, Awkward and Surviving.
I am also high key panicking.. what does being 30 even mean to me. I have people telling me it Is the best, I have people telling me it is the worst, so I guess I will just have to figure it out for myself. Thirty is a big number though.. if I was a wine, I would be pretty damn expensive. Even though I consume a healthy amount of wine, the saying “You are what you eat,“ has never come true for me. I am not an expensive wine and I am just a human with Napa Valley taste on a Franzia budget.
As I prepare to enter the new decade, I had someone ask me “What is the most important thing you have ever learned?” I laughed because I didn’t understand how a person could possibly want insight or dare I say, wisdom from me, but it got me thinking. So I wanted to share my most important lesson from my life with you.
Don’t run into wasps nests, but when you do, scream at the top of your lungs and hope you pop-pop hears you and comes to your rescue. Then instead of being embarrassed when your 8-year old crush makes fun of you, tell him that he couldn’t have handled the pain and ruin any chance of a future friendship by insulting him.
Okay, this is not the most important lesson, but I did learn a lot:
Literally and metaphorically, don’t run into a wasp nest, it hurts.
Ask for help, you are never to old to get help, especially from your pop-pop.
Be nice to others, don’t let your ego get in the way. Please note, at age 6, I did not know what the word ego meant.
And now for my most important lesson.
Manage your emotions! When I was 24 I enrolled in grad school, about a year into the program I let the stress build up and I finally burst. But I didn’t freak out by myself, in a motel closet Moira Rose style, nope! I lost it by yelling at my grad school professor in front of all of her students and my peers. To make matters worse she was the person making the decision of if I should continue in the program. I do think she needed to be put in her place, but damn did I have poor timing and approach. I stayed in my program but I did a lot of groveling and as some form of punishment the professors never called me by my correct name after my freak out.
So figure out what you need to do to manage your emotions to prevent a moment like this from ever happening to you! My roommate brought me to the gym and working out became my saving grace. As I get older though, it is a bit more difficult to make sure you are getting to the gym consistently. For those that relate, I put together a couple of suggestions on how to incorporate working out into your daily activities.
Group Exercise Alternative: Accidentally order an Uber to the wrong pick up spot in Nashville, TN and instead of cancelling, challenge yourself and your friends to run uphill on Broadway in heels for 8 blocks only to realize you read the map wrong and were in the right spot before you forced everyone to run. Your friends will love that you organized this workout during the weekend of drinking. Life is about balance.
Not Spending Enough Time On Your Core? Well, do I have the solution for you. Go to a bar with a decently sized dance floor. Find a dude with hooded eyes like Patrick Swayze, but any strong person will do the trick. Telepathically communicate that even though "(I’ve Had) The Time of My Life” is not currently playing, this is your moment. Then go for it! Clear a pathway, back up then start to sprint full speed at a perfect stranger with a chipped tooth and a lime green mullet. Pray that he or she catches you. Remember engage your core while you are in the air or else it was all for nothing.
While I mentally prepare for my next decade I will keep these lessons in mind and probably learn many more. Hopefully I will stub a toe, maybe scrape a knee and figure out how to keep moving forward. I have a lot of time to figure out what thirty means to me but one thing is for sure, if I keep finding myself in these awkward situations, my thirties will sure be memorable.
Cheers!!
